


His two kittens and one tomcat

by CMDAK



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Confused James Bond, Domestic Fluff, F/F, M/M, Protective Q
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 02:01:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6451054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMDAK/pseuds/CMDAK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Q had said that he had two kittens, this was not the first thing that crossed James' mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	His two kittens and one tomcat

**Author's Note:**

> This (unlikely) possibility hit me one night and I finally decided to write it down.  
> The Madeleine relationship is not that present in it, but I am also not bashing on the woman because I like her as a character (but I think the relationship was rushed and added just because Bond always walks off into the sunset with a woman).
> 
> Please excuse all the mistakes that are in here (I am still trying to fix the other fic, so this might take longer)

Madeleine was a truly brilliant woman and a great human being, but she and James did not have the right chemistry for an actual relationship. The sex was good and they both got consumed in the heat of the moment and they had actual conversations when they weren’t breaking beds or tables, but they were usually in contradiction, James still a double oh at heart and Madeleine very much a peace loving woman whose hatred for all things violent only increased after the Spectre incident.

 

Being well aware of that, it came to no surprise to James when one day Madeleine sat him down in the island’s five star hotel restaurant and proceeded to end their tumultuous relationship. “We both hold the blame for this; we rushed without thinking, driven by nothing more than adrenaline and the fear of the new future that awaited us.”

 

At least she hadn’t used clichés, not that James would have been bothered if she did. “It was fun and welcomed while it lasted, Madeleine.” He wanted to say that he truly thought that this relationship would last and that she was the one, but he couldn’t find it in himself to lie to her and she was the type who would instantly catch on and feel beyond insulted. “Wish you were truly that mythical _one_.”

 

She smiled, a smile James still considered fond and cute and leaned over to squeeze his hand. “I am truly sorry, James, especially since you left MI6 to be with me.”

 

James chuckled, pushing her soft, blonde hair, behind her ear. “Darling, I think they were more realistic than us and they probably placed bets on when I’ll be coming back with my metaphorical tail tucked between my legs.” She let go of his hand and he took a sip of his coffee, more disappointed in the fact that the beverage had gotten cold than the fact that he had just been dumped. “I just wonder how long Q will give me the cold shoulder over this.”

 

Q had been so sad when James came to pick up the car that he thought the man was actually going to cry. He didn’t, at least not in front of him. Q just gave him the keys, squeezed his shoulder and wished him a happy life in a slightly trembling voice and watched James walk out of his branch for what was supposed to be the last time.

 

He had felt unnaturally sad about that, not just because it gave off the impression that he had used Q for one last time – he hadn’t, really; before going to the boffin’s lair, he had dropped off by Eve’s office to ask where she thought he would be most happy outside of MI6, then by Tanner’s to supposedly get the one pound the man still owed him from their last poker game, and then also visited M, asking for his file which he knew the man couldn’t give him.

 

That was simply how he said goodbye and he didn’t actually expect Q to give him the keys, but when he was presented with them, he had no real choice but to take them. Of course he could have put them on the table and pull the man in a hug and ask for his phone number to torment him with selfies and whatnots, but his ego didn’t let him.

 

There had been quite a few days in which he wondered if the younger man had gotten into trouble for giving him the car. Q had said that he had been working on fixing it in his spare time, so maybe the car wasn’t even on the MI6 inventory? Did that mean that, even thought he had two kittens and a mortgage to pay he had used his own money to fix something that he had broken? Great, now he felt even more horrible for the way he parted with Q.

 

“Well, at least the car is still in one piece? And if you buy him something nice and useful this time,” she glared at him and he started to regret telling her about the many bottles of very expensive alcohol he had given Q each and every time he stole something from his branch, “he might actually give you the time of day sometime this year.”

 

“Doesn’t the car itself count as—?”

 

“No, it doesn’t, although it will surely weigh in your favour,” she interrupted him, kicking him under the table. “Still, if you are willing to joke about this, maybe you are not as bothered as you claim to be about the man ignoring you or being crossed with you for this extended vacation.”

 

That was a lie and she was more than aware of it, James’ sour face not leaving any room for doubt. “I don’t suppose you spent enough time with him to tell me what might he consider to be the most perfect gift?”

 

She shook her head, finishing her omelette. “But you’ll figure something out, I am sure. After all, you are a former double oh agent who was tied at the hip with the Quartermaster, so it is impossible for you not to know what he actually likes.”

 

He saw her off at the airport, the two sharing a short hug before leaving, James spending a few hours walking around the vast airport, seeing if inspiration would strike him while looking at the shops.

 

Only the tins filled with various teas that James had never heard of and the accessories that came with them looked good and he wondered if just how good Q was with hitting moving targets because he was pretty sure that was what he was going to end up as if he brought the Quartermaster that.

 

Then there were the various Lego sets, stuffed animals, and puzzle boxes that he thought Q might enjoy, but he wasn’t quite sure. Sure, he was a boffin by job, but wouldn’t it be very wrong of him to assume and enforce a stereotype on him? Although everyone enjoyed a good puzzle and many liked to relive their childhood by playing with little Lego sets, crying in outrage at how expensive they really were.

 

He was about to enter a shop for the fifth time when something bumped against his legs, almost sending him face down on the ground. “Sorry, mister,” a little voice whined and James looked down, easily picking the little child up, face falling when he saw how he looked.

 

The child’s hair was brown and almost as wild as the Quartermaster’s, a pair of green eyes filled with hurt and unshed tears peering at him from behind askew glasses. It was as if he was holding a miniature version of his Quartermaster and he honestly wouldn’t put it past the man to accidentally close himself or play with a machine that de-aged him. But if that was the case, why was he so far away from Vauxhall? And why was he alone?

 

“Sir, can you please put me down? You’re stretching my shirt and I really didn’t mean to bump into you,” the child whimpered, sniffling and clearly trying to hold back from bursting into tears.

 

Well, if this truly was a Q clone if not Q himself, he would have recognized him – unless he had also lost his memory alongside his years. “Where are your parents?” James asked in a soft voice, carefully putting the child back down on the ground after giving him a quick onceover to make sure he wasn’t wounded.

 

The child turned around and pushed himself up on the tips of his toes. “I don’t know,” the child sobbed out, hiccups quickly following and James hated this because he had no idea how to deal with little children.

 

A woman cried? Hold her tightly and reassure her that things would work out in the end, since she was an adult with life experience and no dependence on parents. Apply the same strategy when a man was involved, although a pat on the back might be more indicated, depending on the type of man you were dealing with. But dealing with a crying child? That was not something he had been trained for.

 

“Shh, shh, don’t cry. Everything will be okay.” James tried, kneeling in front of him and wiping his eyes. “Your parents are around here somewhere, looking for you and I am sure that you will be ruined with them by the time you finished counting to a hundred.” The child looked rather young and James was hoping that he couldn’t reach to that number, just in case it took them longer to be reunited. “Now, when and where was the last time you saw them?”

 

The child only cried harder and everyone was now looking at him, frowning. The few who thought him to be the father probably assumed that he was a horrible parent because he couldn’t silence his offspring and the others who thought him to be a danger to the child were slowly edging towards him, to pull the child to safety before calling security on him.

 

“Luke? Luke?” Someone was calling desperately and when he heard that, the boy bolted away from James, the crowd parting to let the child reach the safety of his father’s arms.

 

James followed, out of curiosity and because the voice sounded very familiar, jaw dropping open and his brain freezing. Before him, kneeling on the ground and hugging the tears out of a child while an identical one was sitting right behind him, worrying his lower lip and tugging on the sleeves of his red jumped, was his Quartermaster.

 

“What did I tell you about moving out of my sight, my little kitten?” Q was scolding hi hiccupping son, his voice understandably a lot more softer than the one he used with the agents – and ten times even more so than the one used with him because James tended to constantly put himself in dangerous situations when he didn’t have to.

 

“I know, but I had to go to the bathroom and then I bumped into a mountain which stretched my favourite shirt,” the child ranted, stopping every other word to gasp for air in order to keep his tears at bay. “I am sorry, daddy,” he finished lamely, pushing his face in the croak of his father’s neck, Q struggling to get up with his son in his arms.

 

“It is alright, Luke. I have you now and you are safe,” Q reassured his son, kissing the side of his face. “Now, where is the so called mountain you bumped into?”

 

James had started to arrange his tie and dust his suit of any possible dust, Q’s apparent other son fixating him with narrowed green eyes. He thought about a million ways to start the conversation, all clever and witty, but it seemed that his brain and mouth were no longer collaborating because he heard himself say something entirely different. “ _You_ have kids?” Even the way he said it sounded like an insult and he wanted to kick himself, especially since Q’s shocked and somewhat happy expression got replaced by an annoyed one.

 

“Had,” Q corrected him, his voice soft and sad – had the woman divorced him? Had she ran away with someone? Because if she did and Q wanted revenge, James would be more than happy to go break the legs of the bastard who dared to break Q’s perfect house. “Double—Mister Bond, I never thought I would see you again.”

 

Cold voice, cold eyes, tensed back, legs fixed on the ground as if he was getting ready to actually bite his head off. And this was prior to him finding out that James had stretched his son’s shirt which looked a tad expensive, now that he looked at it. “Didn’t you have a mortgage and two kittens? What are you doing on this island with two kids?” His mouth went off again without consulting his brain.

 

“I do not know what gave you the impression that I—”

 

“He’s the mountain, daddy,” the boy – Luke, his brain supplied for him – interrupted his father, Q’s face losing all the malice and anger form earlier when he looked at him. “I bumped into him by accident.” Luke turned his slightly puffy and red eyes on him and James was reminded once again of how close to tears Q had looked on that day, wondering if his face would look the same as his son after he was done crying. “Really didn’t mean to, mister. But you were suddenly _there_.”

 

James chuckled, slowly moving his arm towards Luke, eyes never leaving Q’s, wanting to see if the man would allow him to touch his son. His hand touched the soft, wild hair and it was still attached to his body, so Q approved of his hair ruffling. “Don’t worry, kid. I am just happy that I was right about you finding your father before you could even count to a hundred.”

 

Luke shook his head. “I couldn’t count because I was afraid, but it took almost five minutes, so you were wrong.” Of course Q’s son would be as smart as him and as quick to point out mistakes just like his father.

 

“Luke, what did I say about acting nice?” Q asked patiently and Luke murmured something that sounded like an apology. “And Bond,” James turned his attention towards him, straightening his back and holding his head high, almost saluting him, “thank you for accidentally finding my little kitten. Now, if you’ll excuse me...”

 

James quickly blocked his path, holding his hands in front of him. “Wait, wait. Where are you staying? Where are your bags? Do you need help with anything? Maybe you want me to drive you at your hotel? Lodge?” he pulled his keys out of his pocket and jiggled them in front of him, grinning like a wolf. “The car is still in one piece and without a scratch, you know.”

 

“If I had a calendar, I’d mark down this day in red,” Q said dryly, stepping around him. “I do not need your help with anything, _Mister_ Bond, but thank you for offering.”

 

“Q-”

 

“Who’s Q? Is he mocking your name?”The child that had been silent until now suddenly asked, tugging on arm to get his attention – and strangely enough, James wanted to do the same, but he was sure that he was going to get a slap instead of a smile and an insult instead of kind words.

 

“Mister Bond may have done a lot of things that ended up giving me headaches among other things,” that was clearly said to shame James, and it was working, “but he never made fun of my name, Kirk. Q is just the way they called me at work, understand?” His son thought for a second before nodding and smiling, Q ruffling his hair. “That’s excellent; now let’s go checked in and then hit the beach.”

 

Both boys jumped for joy and for a second, James thought that they were going to bolt away, but they instead clung to Q’s hands and started to tug him towards the luggage section, two security guards waiting not too far away from them to probably lead them back in.

 

“Q, wait!” James called out and ran after him, hesitantly touching his shoulder. “Come on, let me help you. I know how much you hate flying and this first experience on the island must have drained you completely.”

 

Q thought for a moment. “You say the car is still in one piece?” James nodded, looking very proud. “And you have it here, with you?” James nodded again, with a bit of caution this time, remembering that Q could be very sneaky when he wanted to. “Happy to hear that, but we do not all fit in it, so...”

 

He started to walk again, but James refused to give up since he had decided that a physical gift would be nothing compared to actually helping Q, just like the man had done through the years – and Madeleine would be proud of this decision and realization. “It has four seats and there are just the four of us, so I am going to risk and say that we all fit in the Aston Martin.”

 

That got Q curious and he had slowed down enough for James to easily keep up with him, his sons looking back at him with pouts and puppy eyes. “I do not mean to intrude on your personal life and feel free not to answer me if you don’t want to, but—”

 

“Madeleine and I did not work out,” James interrupted him before Q could finish asking his question. “This is why I am here; I dropped her off so she could fly back to Switzerland.”

 

“Ah, I am sorry to hear that, Bond,” Q muttered, distracted from James once again by Luke who suddenly remembered that he really had to go to the bathroom while Kirk wanted to drink something. And the look his former Quartermaster was giving him, terrified him. “I am sorry, but can you please go to a vending machine with this kitten while I take care of his brother?”

 

Kirk clung to James leg, refusing to look up at him, obviously shy. “If you are sure that you can trust me with your child, then yes.” He was actively praying in his mind for Q to shake his head and change his mind about that, sending him to grab his luggage instead, but he wasn’t that lucky because Luke needed to go and he needed to go then.

 

“I don’t have a choice,” Q called out, already running with his son in his arms in the direction of the bathroom. “Just meet me by the doors that lead back in the luggage area and whatever you do, do not let Kirk drink Cola.”

 

James glanced at Kirk, smiling uneasily. “So... About that water you wanted to drink because you were parched?” The little boy pointed to a machine that had nothing but variations of Cola before turning to give him. “Kid, your dad said that you are not allowed to drink Cola.” He easily picked him up and placed him on his shoulders, not flinching at all when the kid grabbed hold of his ears to make sure he didn’t fall. “I’m not going to drop you, you know.”

 

“I don’t trust you,” Kirk mumbled and dug his nails in his ears, trying to hold on tighter. “You could drop me just because.”

 

“Your farther does.” That had Kirk relax his grip. “And I wouldn’t drop you because you’re Q’s kid.” He stopped in front of another vending machine that had nothing but water and kneeled down to let the little boy pick the type of water he wanted.

 

The machine let out a mechanical noise and then stopped suddenly, Kirk tugging on James’ ear to get his attention. “It got stuck. Can you please buy me one?”

 

“Wait, let me try something...” James gave the machine a kick and it spat the bottle right out, holding it above himself for the child to drink it. And, because he felt like he had shown the child something he shouldn’t have that might end up hurting him or worse, cost him his life, James awkwardly added a warning. “You don’t ever do this, okay? Because you’re a squirt and the machine might fall on top of you.”

 

Kirk tried to get James to tilt his head backwards as much as he could with him being dropped and without hurting him. “I am seven, you know,” the child proclaimed, frowning.

 

“And I am 40,” James muttered back, unsure where the kid was going with that little bit of very useful information – it meant that Q had them and the wife before coming to work for them. Was he still with his wife when they met on the bench in the National Art Museum? Or he had the woman already divorced him? He didn’t remember seeing an actual wedding band on his finger, but his memory was a bit hazy when it came to tan marks.

 

Someone cleared their throat behind him and it only registered when he saw Q that Kirk was tugging on his ears again. “Bond, can I please have my child back? We’re all tired and they really want to go for a quick dip before diner.”

 

“Ah yes, of course.” James put Kirk back, but grabbed Q’s hand before he could leave. “How many bags do you have? At least three, one for you and two for your sons, but since you strike me as the type of parent who came prepared for everything, I am leaning towards more.”  
  
“Five, but James—”

 

“No, Q, I insist. After everything you’ve done for me, this is the least I could do for you. So please, allow me to help you with your bags and to drop you off at your hotel,” James insisted and Q was really tired because he nodded before the former agent could really try to get him to change his mind.

 

***

 

It was clear by James’ face that he did not approve of their quarters, especially since there was a makeshift bed inside the room for Q to sleep in as the main bed could only fit his sons. But Q didn’t care and he was in fact quite proud of what he had managed to rent, if only because this was the first real vacation he had brought his sons on without having to worry about making the mortgage payments.

 

“It’s quaint,” James said suddenly and plopped down on the only chair the room had, Q sighing because there was no way for him to physically remove him. “And I am being quite nice when I call it quaint, Q. Don’t tell me that you actually paid for this dump.”

 

He actually missed the headache that he was feeling right now and he cussed Bond for that. “I am not as blessed as you are and I know that you are used to things being free for you because of your bloody charming smile, addicting scent, and annoyingly lovable personality despite making half of the MI6 want to strangle you.” His sons were in the bathroom, changing, they were no longer co-workers, and this was just a chance meeting, so he couldn’t care less about coming clean with his crush.

 

James looked taken back, at a loss of words for the first time since Q had ever met him. Not for long, of course, the confident grin and look in his eyes back in a flash. “My Quartermaster—”

 

“I am not _your_ Quartermaster anymore, remember?”

 

He sighed, sad to be remembered of the truth. “I’ll always see you as my Quartermaster, Q, even if I am no longer in the service of MI6.” He brushed Q’s shoulder before wrapping an arm around him, pulling him closer. But not too close as the two boys were out of the bathroom and digging mercilessly through their carefully packed bags for their swimming trunks. “But, going back to my proposition, how about I—”

 

“No,” Q interrupted him again and jumped on his feet, Kirk and Luke turning to glare at the man that had seemingly upset their father. “Thank you for all of your help so far, but this is where I draw the line.” He raised his hand to keep James silent because of course the agent wanted to say something and challenge him. The former agent was practically allergic to accepting things as they were given to him, even if it came to things that involved other people. “This is the first real vacation I took them since...” He stopped just in time, biting his lip hard for almost reopening wounds that his children were barely aware of. “I just finished paying my mortgage and this is their first vacation out of the country on my own money. Please don’t try to help.”

 

“I understand,” James said after a moment, but still looked like he was up to something and Q wanted to ask if he was really sure of his words. “And if that is your wish, then I will butt out and not try to force any upgrade on you.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking around the room again. “It has a rustic feeling, now that I look at it again.”

 

Q laughed a little, appreciating James attempt. “Rustic is all that I can afford right now and please don’t read that as a subtle ask for you to still carry on with your upgrading plan.”

 

“Dad, the sun,” Luke said suddenly, running over to the window to point at the glowing disk in the sky, frowning. “If we stay in the room for too long, we’ll miss it.” Kirk nodded furiously and Q chuckled, walking to his own bags.

 

“I am sorry for having to kick you out, James, but know that it was a real pleasure seeing you again.” He easily found his swimming trunks – feeling a little bit embarrassed when he realized that he had pulled out the ones with Pac-man on them instead of the simple ones – and pulled off his shirt, James quickly walking over to him to help him with his glasses.

 

“The pleasure was all mine, Q,” James murmured. “I was also searching for a suitable gift for you in the airport. As a thank you for everything you did for me and also as an apology for taking advantage of you for so long.” His eyes seemed to linger on Q’s chest for a second too long before clearing his throat and opening the door. “Not that I think a simple duty-free gift will be enough. Enjoy your vacation, Q, and I’ll see you around.”

 

Before Q could ask what he meant by that last statement, James was already out of the room and his two sons forced him into the bathroom to change already so they could go to the beach. He couldn’t blame them for their excitement, as he was probably feeling the same as them, but was simply better at masking it – plus, the fact that he was still indisposed from the flight helped quite a lot.

 

It took them half an hour to get to the beach and Q was really starting to think about getting harnesses for his two sons, or maybe even tying Luke to him, as he was the evil mastermind behind every accidental heart attack both he and his shy brother gave him.

 

“Luke, stop trying to get the man to give you his dog,” Q said without even looking away from his umbrella adjusting. “We already have two cats which neither of you take care of beyond petting and overfeeding.”

 

“But he’s your favourite colour, dad,” Luke tried, rushing to Q’s side when the man glanced over his shoulder at him, Kirk not far behind him. “He didn’t answer to seven anyway,” he grumbled and pulled out the suntan lotion from the bag without being told, giving his brother a bottle of water.

 

That statement made Q flinch, almost closing the umbrella by accident. “Why did you pick that name for the dog we are not getting in the near future, Luke?”

 

Kirk was the one to answer which meant that both boys had decided on the name and that made Q want to cringe even more. “You used to grumble about a Seven until you completely stopped a few months ago.”

 

Luke nodded. “Admit it, daddy,” Q tried not to gulp too loudly, turning his son around to rub the lotion on his skin, wishing he had another set of arms so he could turn Kirk with his back to him as well and be rid of the glare, “you have a dog at your office with that name and you don’t want to share him with us.”

 

Relief had never felt this good – even though he was more than conscious of the fact that it was impossible for them to know of his huge crush on James. “Seven is not an actual dog – Kirk, it’s your turn and don’t try to talk your way out of it – even though I might have called him that on more than one occasion.”

 

“Now Q, what sort of a language do you use around impressionable children?” James’ voice came from behind them, spooking Q so much that he ended up squeezing half of the bottle on Kirk.

 

“Bond! Why do you insist on sneaking up on me all the time? And what the b-each are you doing on this side of the island?” Q demanded as he pulled the bag closer to him to search for wet napkins, silently bemoaning the waste of such a good and expensive lotion.

 

James leaned close and lightly poked Q’s side. “Your tongue almost slipped.” It looked like he wanted to say something more, something perverted with at least five innuendos, and Q was thankful to all the Gods, computers, and cosmos energy that he held back. “Plus, the beach on my part of the island was depressingly empty.”

 

He was reminded of why James had been in the airport in the first place and he felt bad for his words and him. The poor man had the bad luck of falling really hard for the wrong woman – he liked Madeleine more than Vesper, but neither suited James, in Q’s very biased and secret opinion – over and over again, even though he had the uncanny ability of having more bed warmers without feeling anything other than need for release or temporary companionship.

 

Broken hearted and abandoned yet again, it only made sense that James would come to the busier side of the island and of course he would attach himself to the only person on the island who he knew, even if it was clear that he was completely thrown off by his acquaintance having kids – though he took it a lot better than Tanner, who outright fainted, the poor man.

 

Actually, now that he thought about it, he might have missed the first call of help and he felt even worse, though he did not regret stopping him from wasting money. If James did anything better than destroying equipment, almost getting himself killed, imitating a bloody phoenix, setting himself up for heart break, or picking up the most gorgeous women that walked the face of the earth – and hell, James could do a lot of things well; a pity they were all of the disastrous kind – than that was throwing money out the window.

 

“You can stay with us, mister,” Kirk mumbled out, eyeing his strong shoulders.  
  
“The name’s Bond, James Bond.” Of course he would introduce himself like that, confirming to Q that it had indeed become a verbal tic for him. “I’m not old enough to be a mister, kid.”  
  
“You have white hair,” Luke said from the back of James’ deckchair, Q plucking him from there before he could fall and hurt himself.

 

“I told you not to be rude to anyone, Luke,” he scolded him. “Especially towards old men.” He really couldn’t help himself, especially since he had missed their banter quite a lot. “Now apologize to James and his blond hair dye.”

 

James moved faster than Q could blink, plucking his glasses from his face to put them on his deckchair right before hoisting him and Luke into his arms, Kirk smiling at the world from the former agent’s shoulders. “I do not dye my hair,” he growled out, although not in that terrifying way he did when an enemy was involved. “However, I am now starting to believe that the spots you have all over your body pain, so I _must_ wash you before your skin starts to sting.”

 

“Double oh seven!” Q squeaked seconds before his body hit the water, James quickly pulling Luke in his arms.

 

This meant war, of course, and Q dug his feet into the sand as he grabbed James’ feet to force him under water, helped by his two sons. A water battle started between the four, the twins quickly teaming up with each other to defeat both their father and apparent friend, easily defeating James – because the man allowed them to, and Q liked him even more for having enough of a brain to subdue his double oh instincts of winning no matter what when it came to children – and then using his back to throw themselves at their father and push him under.

 

“Champions of the sea!” Luke declared, holding Kirk’s hand up in the air alongside his and screaming like a warrior.

 

“Ocean,” Kirk corrected him, equally pleased as his brother to have won, but showing more restraint.

 

Q laughed, holding his hands above his head as James plucking seaweed from his hair. “I announce you two winners and winners get a single ice-cream scoop _before_ lunch just this one time.” The boy’s high-fived, rushing back to their towels, their interest shipped from the ocean to the delicious treat.

“How about those who came in second?” James asked, floating on his back around Q. “Do we get ice-cream before lunch?”

 

Arching his eyebrow, Q huffed. “And what makes you think that you came in second? I was sure you always came first.”

 

The innuendo was there and James picked up on it, Q narrowly avoiding getting tripped. “I assure you that in _that_ situation, it is my partner who reaches the stars first.”

 

Q snorted, making the huge mistake of closing his eyes and thus, missing when James lunged at him. A new water war almost started, but Q’s thought was on his sons and he rushed back to them as soon as he had regained his footing, James hot on his heels.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you if I did,” James said quickly, now if front of Q, running backwards. “I was only playing, honestly.”

 

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Q reassured him, peeking over his shoulder to see what was happening on land. “I simply have two young children on which I have to keep a constant eye on, especially since we’re in a foreign country.”

 

James remained silent, helping Q pack everything up and kneeling for Kirk to take his place on his shoulders, Luke becoming his apparent shoulder bag because if his twin was doing something or getting something, than it was only logical that he should get the same treatment – a huge financial burden, but Q never regretted that he had been blessed with twins and sought to buy them the best he could, even if it meant that he was eating leftovers from his minions.

 

“Kirk, stop bouncing on James’ shoulders because he has problems with his left arm and Luke, if I have to tell you one more time not to kick James’ side, you won’t be getting ice cream or any kind of sweets until his bruises completely disappear,” Q warned as they were nearing and ice-cream shop, his own mouth starting to water.

 

The last time he had a spoonful of ice-cream was on R’s birthday, seven months prior. The woman loved ice-cream even more than his sons combined and had ordered twenty cakes made out of ice-cream. She ended up forcing two of them on him, knowing his financial status a lot better than he would have wanted and he gave the cakes to the lights of his eyes – by pure coincidence, the cakes just happened to be the types of ice-cream they loved. She actually had wanted to give him three, but the third one had a nasty accident when one of the minions came in running because 007’s – of course – mission had gone tits up.

 

“You told me you had two kittens, but unless my eyes deceive me or unless they have cat ears hidden in their wild hair and invisible tails, you actually have two children,” James whispered, watching Luke and Kirk run around the playground attached to the ice-cream shop like a hawk watched his prey.

 

“They are my kittens, Bond,” Q said fondly. “Take my computers, take my eyes, take my branch, but don’t ever take my children from me. Or my agents,” he added after a moment.

 

James moved closer, smirking. “What about your former agents? Do they count? Are they still yours? Will you take them back if they came with their tail tucked between their legs?”

 

Q hummed, tilting his head as he pretended to think hard. “Depends on the agents, but if they are blue eyed menaces with white hair—”

 

“My hair isn’t white, Q,” James interrupted, glaring, amusing Q to no end that he was vain when it came to certain things.

 

James flinched when someone touched the back of his head and Q snorted when he saw that Luke had managed to be sneaky enough to startle a double oh agent. “I am not pointing there to say that you have some white hair there, since daddy said that I should respect my elders and you are most definitely my elder.” He sucked on his lip and moved away from James, jumping on one of father’s keens, Kirk on the other.

 

“More so than daddy,” Kirk added seriously and Q flicked the back of their heads.

 

For a moment Q was afraid that the agent would have a really bad reaction, but the man simply laughed, drinking what was left of the ice-cream Q had bought him. “If the way they looked wasn’t a clue big enough that they were yours, then the subtle way they insult people should do the trick.”

 

Q ruffled their hair, really proud. “They learned from a master.” His eyes narrowed and shone with mischief, moving his lips slow enough for James to read without a problem. “ _Grandpa_.”

 

James clicked his tongue. “Seems like I didn’t do a good enough job with washing away your spots, but maybe I can do a better job with lunch? My treat? It could come in the form of a Happy Meal dessert?”

 

It was impossible to weasel his way out of if once Happy Meals were promised to Luke and Kirk and the vacationing trio continued to be a tone deaf quartet until the sun went down and James ended up carrying the two sleeping miniature quartermasters, Q having a hard time getting them off without hurting him.

 

“I would offer you coffee,” Q whispered once the door was closed behind him, “but the room does not have a kitchen, I prefer tea over coffee, I am not the gender you usually have serve you coffee in the morning if you even stick around that much, and I am a father.”

 

James chuckled, grabbing Q’s hand to shake it. “I hope to see you around, Quartermaster.”

 

Q pulled James closer when the man tried to walk away, eyes narrowed. “Just don’t try to sneak into my branch if you suddenly decide to come out of retirement; I upgraded the security system and I’d hate to waste half a day cleaning bits of you off my branch’s freshly painted walls.”

 

“A little extreme, don’t you think?”

 

“I only did what M ordered me to do after two very expensive cars disappeared from my branch in less than a week.” Guilt flashed on James’ face, something that was rarely there and that Q thought didn’t suit the man at all. Yes, he was danger-prone and self-destructive, cursed with a one-track mind when something rubbed him the wrong way or something happened that went against his very being, but he was a good man and everything he did, he did because he thought it would help. “I suffered no consequences after your final little stunt and my previous generosity towards you as it was decided that C was to blame for everything. He distracted us while people that might have been working for him broke in and stole the cars.”

 

“And the Prime Minister was dumb enough to buy that?” Q nodded and ended up with his hair ruffled by a chuckling James. “I _will_ be seeing you around, Quartermaster.”

 

Q really hoped that would be the case even if a relationship or even a single roll around the bed with the man was out of the question.

 

***

 

It was weird that the day he had spent with Q and his two sons was easily the strangest thing that had ever happened to him. And that was after he had taken into account his fights with the mad man who wanted to start a new race of super-humans, with no flaws whatsoever on a satellite, with the one who wanted to irradiate Fort Knox to make his gold more valuable, the one who was hypnotizing women to deliver a deadly virus that made men impotent, the one with the undersea kingdom, and so on and so forth.

 

This happening was number one because he hadn’t expected the Quartermaster, the frail man that build guns for them to use but hated using them, the man who did not get it when the various women from accounting and array of secretaries of other section heads were hitting on him and trying to get their manicured hands on him had – a wife – dumb woman for divorcing him, if James was asked – and two children. Children which, stranger still, James actually liked – but that certainly had something to do with the fact that he liked everything Q made.

 

Had Eve known about this? Had the old M? Or the new M? Tanner? Did either one of them know who Q’s ex-wife was? If they did, would they tell him, because he knew Q wouldn’t tell him a single thing, pointing out yet again that his private life was none of James’ business – and it wasn’t, but he was curious, insulted on Q’s behalf because the man was too good to be abandoned, and maybe he would also find a way to repay Q back for everything he had done for him and help him be happy.

 

“ _How is it that you always manage to call me right in the most inopportune moments?”_ Eve’s annoyed voice greeted him after a few rings, a male voice not too far from the receiver asking what was wrong. “ _My boss, darling,_ ” she lied, sounding like she was moving into another room.

 

“Is this the same lover as the last time I called you in the middle of the night?”

 

The woman clicked her tongue and James assumed that if he had been next to her in that moment, she would have either flicked his forehead, or slapped his shoulder. “ _James, I like stability. That is another reason why I quit being an agent,”_ she was still one at heart as her team-up with Q, M and Tanner during the Blofeld incident proved, “ _and that is why, if you are calling me to help you and Madeleine with—”_

“I am not with Miss Swann anymore,” he interrupted her.

 

She let out a sad sigh. “ _I am—”_

“Don’t be.” He didn’t understand why people felt the need to apologize for things that clearly weren’t their fault. Q had done it, but he was in too big of a shock to stop him in time. “We rushed into it and found out only afterwards that we weren’t right for each other. Anyway, I am calling you about Q—”

 

“ _I can’t give you his phone number, James. Plus, the poor man is on vacation. But if you stumbled on something big, as you tend to do, tell me and I will let M and R know and we will—”_

“Eve, Eve, slow down. I know Q is on vacation. And, to be more exact, on vacation with two miniature clones who are actually his two biological sons that I knew nothing about.” The tense silence that followed was enough to confirm that Eve had indeed known about that. He couldn’t say that he was surprised as the woman knew everything important, nor could he say he was hurt that he was left out of the loop as he rarely stopped from his mad dash to either certain death or retirement to ask the people in his life about theirs. “Can you help me fill in some blanks?”

 

“ _I am sorry, but that’s not something I can help you with. It’s not my story to tell and it’s not my life that you are trying to intrude in.”_

 

James wanted to groan and whine so much, but that wasn’t in his character. “We both know Q won’t tell me anything—”

 

“ _You are not a double oh agent anymore, James,”_ she chided him. “ _Just because there is something that you didn’t know about, that doesn’t mean you **have** to find out everything about it just for the sake of it or just because it passed undetected by your pseudo-detective skills and your huge ego is bruised.”_

 

“I am genuinely interested in Q’s life, Eve. I want to see if I can be the one to help him for once.”

 

Eve sighed. “ _Are you sure this isn’t some sort of a psychological effect following your recent breakup? Until now, even when your lovers left you, the one constant thing in your life was MI6 and especially Q since he was bending over backwards to take care of you. Maybe you should—”_

“Maybe you should stop being a secretary and switch to the psychological department so I never bother you in the middle of the night?” James interrupted her, annoyed that he was being psychoanalyzed over the phone by his friend – and maybe also because it sounded like she knew what she was talking about and he hated to think that he would be the huge prick Q hinted at and he was just using him once again without being aware of it.

 

Wait, no. He thought for a moment and he was sure that he wasn’t using Q, especially since he had children and in his own special set of twisted rules, he turned down all missions in which he had to fool mothers into giving up information – he was an orphan, not a monster.

 

“ _James, did you get distracted by a woman and forgot about me?”_ Eve jokingly asked, although there was a thin layer of annoyance in her voice.

 

“I was just thinking of something, Eve,” he murmured. “And no, I did not get a headache, so don’t even bother to ask me that.”

 

“ _I can’t help but worry,”_ she joked. “ _Now, is there anything else, or can I go back to my bed and my lover who is probably two phone calls away in the middle of the night from thinking that I am having an affair with my boss?”_

She hadn’t been helpful in the traditional way, but James couldn’t correct her. “You’ll find a little gift from me for you and your apparently permanent bed warmer in your e-mail tomorrow morning.” He closed the phone before the woman could chew his ear off for insulting her lover, trying to think of his next move.

 

In the end, he decided to wing it, just go with the flow since anything else made him feel as if he was treating Q like a mission. He got up, got dressed, finished five cups of coffee and made his way to Q’s hotel, ending up buying all sort of stupid beach things he though kids might enjoy on his way there.

 

He heard Kirk’s footsteps from a mile away and bent down to allow the squirt to jump on his shoulders, suppressing a flinch when the child grabbed his ears. “I am starting to think that this is your subtle way of insult my ears.”

 

Kirk moved his hands from his ears to his neck, clinging tightly. “I just want to be sure that I don’t fall of and if you squint, they look like—”

 

“Kirk Boothroyd, I expected more from you, young man!” Q’s angry voice cut through the child’s insult and James was too shocked about his realization that his current – technically former – Quartermaster was related to his old Quartermaster. They had different eye colour, he assumed that different hair colour because he couldn’t remember seeing the Major with any other colour but white in his head – and the man always accused him for that – different built, different facial structure, and Q’s nose was almost button-like while the Major’s always made him think of a clown’s nose.

 

James turned around and leaned in close to Q, ignoring the younger man’s frown and the sleeping child in his arms. “No, I did not go blind. You look nothing like the Major. And not to insult him, but you are smarter than him.”

 

Q shoved his hand in his face and pushed him back. “That’s because he adopted me.” He leaned to the right, eyes narrowed just a little bit. “Kirk, just because James let you sit there yesterday, that doesn’t mean you can hop on his back every time you see him.” His son was by his side in an instant, clearly giving him the puppy eyes.

 

“I don’t mind,” James said quickly. “I barely register he’s on my back when he isn’t tugging on my ears.”

 

Q covered Kirk’s mouth before he could say anything. “Maybe we’re keeping James from his business.”

 

James smiled and pointed towards the car. “I was actually wondering if you three were interested in a going to the beach with me again. Maybe you guys will give me a rematch for yesterday? I brought a few water guns to even the odds.”

 

“Do the winners get ice-cream just like yesterday?” Luke asked in a sleepy voice, rubbing his eyes furiously while trying to hold back a yawn.

 

“If you three defeat me in today’s water battle, I’ll buy you the biggest ice-cream possible. After lunch, of course,” he added quickly when he saw how Q was glaring at him. “So, do we have a deal? Or are you three afraid?” He held his hand out and Kirk shook it, a little smile on his lips.

 

Everyone turned to look at Q and the man sighed and nodded, knowing that there was no way out of him. “But we’re going to breakfast first. There is this nice little restaurant that has some great offers for—”

 

“I am friends with the food inspectors on this island and they told me that the restaurant has rats,” James interrupted Q, putting his hand on his lower back to guide him to the car. “And I believe that I, since I was also defeated yesterday, still have to present you with a prize, so why not come eat at my hotel? And then we can go to the beach there, since it’s a private one and we’ll have a lot more room for our battle.”

 

“I didn’t even tell you the name of the restaurant,” Q hissed. “Bond—”

 

“I like it more when you call me James.” He did, he really did. He got a peak of Q’s tongue when he started with the ‘J’ and by the time the ‘s’ slithered off of his tongue made it hard for him to look away from the plump, red lips that were starting to make him wonders things he really shouldn’t – where they soft? How soft were they? Did he use lip balm? How puffier would they get if he chewed on them?

 

A click of tongue and a tug from a curious looking Kirk snapped him out of his musings. “I am wondering if I should get in the car with my children if you space out this much, _James_.”

 

Grinning, James held three fingers to his forehead, Q narrowing his eyes. “Scout’s honour that I won’t, Quarter—I mean, Q.”

 

Q shook his head. “The day I suspense my disbelief enough to pretend you were a scout, will be the day I change my hair colour to blue again.” He waited for Kirk to get in the car and then carefully plopped a sleepy Luke next to him, putting their seat belts on.

 

“Wait, you had blue hair? When? Why? Can I see pictures of that? Who do I have to bribe to get access to them since I already know that you won’t let me see them?” James bombarded his ear with questions, leaning over him, his hand on the roof of the car to keep Q from bumping his head on it in case he was startled.

 

Q sighed and elbowed him to get him to back away. “Yes, a long time ago, reasons, no, and you can’t bribe anyone because my minions would never betray me.” He got in the car and by what had to be pure habit, leaned over James and buckled his seat belt as soon as he got behind the wheel, patting his knee – though it was funny that the first time James got in the car with him, Q had been content with glaring at him until he buckled his own seatbelt. “I don’t care how you do it when you are in a mission, but when my kids are in your car, everyone is wearing their seat belt.”

 

No real complaint on James’ part, except for the three times they stopped and got out of the car and he forgot he got the damned thing on, so he always let out strangled noises that had Q’s children laugh while Q himself always ran to his side with a little device in his hand, as if he was expecting to find someone trying to kill him.

 

“You really needed this vacation,” James said slowly and Q nodded, shoulders sagging as he relaxed. “How are things going at MI6?” He knew Q couldn’t really answer his question and that he could easily be accused of betrayal if he did, even if James was a former agent. But it was worth a shot and he didn’t plan on selling the information to enemies. Heck, if he thought that MI6 was in the smallest of trouble, he’d do his best to help everyone who worked there, especially Q.

 

“Despite your flaws, you were one of our best agents.” Q said after a while, voice almost a whisper. “So when you left, although my department is no longer in the red zone, our work hours increased.” He rubbed his eyes and James glanced at him, having the impression that he was seeing a ghost. “And before you ask, no, we did not reassign your number to anyone new just yet. You left behind big shoes to fill and no one is really satisfied with the junior employees.”

 

They were silent for the rest of the drive, Q turning around to check on the obvious lights of his eyes, quickly taking out his phone to take a picture of the way they slept – which was such a _parent_ thing to do that James subtly pinched himself just to be sure that everything was really happening in his car and that he wasn’t passed out drunk in his hotel room – and then sending them to someone – Eve or the mother, James assumed.

 

When they finally pulled up to his hotel, Q started to try to rouse Luke and Kirk, Kirk opening his eyes the second time he was prompted and holding his arms for James to pick him up – the man melting completely when that happened – while Luke put up quite a big fight.

 

The child managed to curl in on himself despite the fact that he still had the seat belt on. “I don’t want to eat. I am not hungry, I am sleepy.” Luke whined and Q sighed.

 

“I am not letting you skip breakfast; if you don’t get out of the car right now, you are not going to the beach and you won’t have desserts for the rest of our stay here,” Q promised and by some miracle, Luke was by his side in a blink of an eye, hair looking like a bird’s nest and looking sour as if he had eaten an entire lemon.

 

“That’s blackmailing, dad,” Luke grumbled, pushing his face against Q’s leg. “I am telling Aunts Eve and Rowena on you when we get back.”

 

Q chuckled and ruffled Luke’s hair, turning to face the hotel’s entrance. “They’ll be on my side, kitten, don’t you worry.”

 

Since James had decided to spend every day of Q’s vacation with him until told otherwise, he quickly found out that getting Luke to wake up was a daily ritual for Q. The boy was as stubborn as they came to mornings and James, although not annoyed in the least by the act Luke was putting on – even suggesting to Q that he should be enrolled in an acting school – he couldn’t help but feel sad and bad for Q.

 

Kirk, on the other hand, gave James the impression that he was an early bird. He did rub his eyes and yawn, but he never complained and he was always the first to greet him when he came to Q’s hotel, giving him half a hug before hoping on his shoulders and making small talk, either about what he dreamt or about what new sandcastle he was going to built with Luke’s, Q’s, and –yes, believe it or not – his help.

 

As the days passed, Q’s pallor gave way to an equally beautiful tan, the bags under his eyes almost completely disappearing. Even laughter came easier to the young father and he had started to greet James with a smile and a shoulder squeeze, hand never linger for too long on him before coming to rest on Kirk’s hair, ruffling it as he asked if he had insulted their friend again.

 

“I am his favourite horsy now. He won’t ever call me old or hint at it,” James said, gently squeezing Kirk’s leg. “Isn’t that right?”

 

Kirk would mutter an affirmative answer, hug his head and their day began. Since this wasn’t the first time James was on the island, he knew all the hidden corners that deserved to be seen, almost always ending up having to carry the two exhausted children back to the hotel while Q constantly reapplied the suntan lotion on his face and arms, to keep him from getting burned.

 

To his surprise, he enjoyed that. He felt like he was a part of Q’s secret family and was constantly tempted to soil rotten the three. When it came to Q, if the man stared at something for one second too long he’d get it and sneak it in his bags, no matter what that object was – a shirt, a hat, a jacket that was too fluffy to be of any real use on the tropical island, something that had lots of wires coming out of it, anything James thought that Q might crave or need, he bought.

 

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Q always said in the morning, looking embarrassed.

 

James shrugged – carefully so he wouldn’t accidentally make Kirk fall – and grinned. “Well, I thought it would do you good. Plus, there are countless things you shouldn’t have done for me and yet you still did. This is my way of thanking you for helping me.”

 

When it came to the children, however, he always looked to Q to see if it was alright. He didn’t want to cross boundaries when it came to raising them, no matter how tempted he was to become that one uncle that every family has that throws money at his nieces or nephews no matter the case – though one late night, he was surprised to find that he was comparing himself to the parent that could never say no to the children.

 

The pictures Q took started to also include James and the former agent started to smile in them as Luke and Kirk ran to hug him or to jump on his legs or back. And one picture, the one that told him that Q was indeed sending them to Eve and his right hand minion, R – or rather, Rowena – was of all four of them, James’ hand resting on Q’s shoulder as the two children hugged each of their sides.

 

The reactions were quick to follow.

 

 _He’s a father, you bloody Casanova_. _Don’t you dare do what you usually do because you’ll make my Jedi and captain cry when you disappear and I will track you down and rip your dick and make you eat it!_

R was petite, but she was fast, agile and every time James had seen her, she was fiddling with either a gun or a knife. In short, she was dangerous and everybody knew better than to cross her or her favourite person in the world, which just happened to be the Quartermaster.

 

 _Q is not a conquest. He is a friend and I would never do that to him_ , James texted back, his phone buzzing not a second later. The new message was from Eve – and James wondered if he should worry about R’s apparent silence.

 

_James, go hire a woman or a man and leave Q alone. The kids already look like they got attached to you and we both know why that is a bad idea. I cannot believe Q allowed for this to go so far._

It was easy to imagine the woman fuming. Just as it was very easy to imagine why both women would assume that James would fall back to his usual habit of one-night stands after his latest attempt at an actual relationship failed.

 

And yes, he found himself staring at Q for a moment longer than he should and enjoyed how his cheap aftershave smelled when it was mixed with the scent of the sea and sand. And yes, Q was so much more than a simple frail boffin with a horrible taste for suits, something that he found out in the middle of their first ever mission, but it was just as true that the man was straight. He had a wife or at least he slept with a woman that had gotten pregnant and that dumped the two dears on Q, right?

 

Then why, oh why, did both women assume that they were in a physical relationship? Because even thought James was handsome and knew how to talk his way into people’s hearts and beds, but he had yet to make a straight man turn gay for him. And frankly, he didn’t want to do that because of the psychological shock that he was sure would follow on the morning after.

 

But something told him that he was missing something very important. He turned on his right and gazed outside, at the huge moon that reflected over the still ocean and thought hard on everything he and Q had talked about since the day they met.

 

Q knew a lot about art, loved tea, favoured cheap Chinese food – and it now made sense why – was probably a mechanic as he had fixed his beloved car by himself in his spare time – great job, Bond; you managed to keep a father away from his children more than you already were with your horrible luck – favoured clothes that were comfortable over the ones that looked good on him, had a geeky sense of humour that was adorable, had blue hair at one point – he still needed pictures and the story behind it – never really forgot anything, favoured him above all other agents to the point of risking his own job for him, found his— Oh.

 

He called Eve, the woman picking up right from the first ring. “Is he bisexual? Pansexual? Or just simply interested in me?” He asked before the woman could start to rant his ear off. “And don’t lie because the way you and R reacted to seeing the four of us together is a huge indication that he is and not that I think about it a little, he signs were there even before our paths crossed on this island and I was just too blind to see it.”

 

There was a sigh of relief that made James feel insulted. “ _As usual, Q was right about us jumping to conclusion if you have to ask me that.”_ He did not like it at all that the woman sounded like she felt bad. “ _And answering even one of those questions will get me even deeper in the dog house with him than I already am, but as an apology to you, I will tell you that he is interested in you.”_

Should he be worried about the way his heart started to beat faster upon hearing that confirmation? “Have a good night, Eve, although I would suggest spending it finding a proper way to apologize for thinking that Q is like me and would think with his dick before his family.”

 

 _“Sod off, Bond,”_ she growled. “ _He is feeling very vulnerable right now and knowing how you think that a good rump fixes everything, we thought that he...”_ She trailed off and sighed, managing to make James even more curious than before.

 

“Why is Q vulnerable?” He breathed out, now sitting up in the bed, checking to see how late it was and if it would be okay for him to call his hotel.

 

Eve clicked her tongue – or maybe slapped her mouth, James wasn’t sure. “ _That is, again, not my story to tell, James. I wish you a good night.”_

Sleep was not going to come easy to him that night and he was now wondering even more things than before, but at least the puzzle that was Q had gained a new piece, one that made James’ heart skip more beats that it should every time he thought about it.

 

He just hoped he wouldn’t prove Luke’s and Kirk’s words right and have a bloody heart attack in the middle of the night ‘like old men did’.

 

***

 

It was a rarity that when James was involved, the headache he was suffering of wasn’t caused by the agent. The man had been nothing more than helpful and a dear for the past two weeks and then Eve and R, the two women he had even trusted with babysitting his two kittens when his presence was a must outside working hours, had to go and assume the worse when it came to him.

 

“Daddy, are you sure we can’t stay here one more week?” Kirk’s pleading voice broke him from his angry packing, his thoughts instantly clearing.

 

“I am sorry baby, but daddy has to go to work in four days,” he explained slowly, kneeling in front of the child to help him close his second luggage – because James had bought them so many things and insisted that they kept the water toys, the man also ended up buying one more bag for each of them, Q moving faster than him to pay for the tax at the airport of the extra luggage. “But I promise I’ll do my best to bring you two back here next week,” he added quickly when he saw how broken hearted the little boy looked.

 

“Will James be here?” Asked Luke and Q sighed.

 

Speaking or rarities, his sons were not the types who easily trusted people or quickly got attached to them, but James had that magical persona of his that had even landed him in a golf game once with the very man that MI6 was after as well as convinced the female accomplice to help ruin the man’s plan.

 

“I don’t know, Luke. James likes to travel and it isn’t in his nature to stick—” A knock at the door interrupted him and Q frowned because James always waited outside for them. But there was James, looking like he hadn’t slept a single wink and like he was being devoured from the inside out by a ton of questions. “Are you okay?”

 

James blinked and nodded, giving him a tired smile. “Rough night but not in the way you are thinking of,” he muttered, tapping his forehead. “May I come in? I want to talk with you about something and also to apologize for whatever R and Eve texted you last night. Had I known they would think so little of you as to assume that you would assume you would—”

 

Q covered his mouth, chuckling. “They are simply over protective and they love Luke and Kirk a lot.” As if on cue, the two boys popped up from behind him, their faces filling with joy at the sight of James and quickly throwing themselves at him, struggling to get their short arms around his legs.

 

“We’ll miss you,” Luke said and James looked confused, Q remembering that he hadn’t told the man when they were returning home.

 

“Our flight is tonight at ten,” Q said before James could ask, stepping aside to let the man slide into the room. “And I am starting work on Wednesday.”

 

James patted the boys heads before they ran back to their bags, shoulders slumped. “Can’t I convince you to stay a bit longer?”

 

Q shook his head. “I am afraid that I already used up all of my vacation days and my vacation money.” He squeezed James’ shoulder and smiled fondly at him, trying to figure out the perfect way to convey his gratitude for how much James had helped them and how much more fun he had made this vacation alongside his wishes for him to find what he was looking for.

 

But his sons interrupted him, running back to James and holding out two bowls filled with seashells, sands and little starfish, huge smiles on their faces. “We made this for you!” Luke announced proudly.

 

“Yes, we got a bit from all the beaches we were on,” Kirk continued, turning to look at his father. “We made one for you as well, daddy, but you’re getting it when we get back home,” he said sheepishly and now Q knew why the two had insisted on packing one of their bags.

 

James crouched down to their height and took the two bottles, holding them to his heart and ruffling their hair with his other hand. “I will put them both in a place of honour,” he promised truthfully and Q felt himself fall for the man even more. “Do you mind if I steal your father for a quick talk outside?” The request also surprised Q and after a moment of intense staring at James, the twins decided that he was still trustworthy and that their father would be returned to them safe and sound. “Thank you,” James said as he got back up, brushing his fingers against the back of Q’s hand. “Q, would you mind?”

 

Q shook his head and he was out of the room before he was even aware of it, James sitting very close to his. “Is everything in order, James?”

 

“I am not sure, to be honest,” James said, sighing. “Can I ask you about their mother? And why Eve said that she was worried that we did something stupid because you are vulnerable?” He grabbed Q’s hand and squeezed it. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

 

Q’s body was saying that James could help him by getting a babysitter and then screwing him into the mattresses because the last time he had any, the twins were three and their grandfather had taken them for a weekend. Q’s mind, on the other hand, was saying that the best way he could help him was by ceasing to be so perfect and lovable and bugger off because the twins adored him and Q didn’t think it possible for him to love him even more.

 

“Their mother died when she gave birth to them,” Q whispered, shivering. “The twins turned seven three weeks ago and this month is always rough on me because I truly loved her and sometimes I wonder if it wouldn’t have been better for her if I would have gone home with her male friend the first night I met her instead of her. Now don’t get me wrong, James, I do not regret that they were born,” he added quickly, suddenly afraid that the man would be dumb enough to think that.

 

But James didn’t, of course. James understood when he had to understand and James knew how it felt to lose a loved one, the wounds caused by Vesper’s death probably still hurting him every now and then, as it was only normal.

 

“I am sorry I made you think about that,” James whispered in his ear and Q realized only then that the man was hugging him tightly. “And I never thought you would regret their lives. They are two bright and wonderful children that many would sell their souls for and you are a wonderful and carrying father and I never meant to make your life harder than it already was when I was an agent.”

 

Q brought his hands around James and let out a shaky breath. “You did what you did to keep London safe and to keep yourself alive, James. I would have hated myself if anything bad happened to you because you tried to save any of the gadgets I equipped you with.”

 

James kissed his temple and hugged him tighter, seemingly unaware that Q had turned into a statue in his arms. “I would have stolen the cheaper cars you had on the floor, Q. And I wouldn’t have called you as often as I did in the middle of the night, on your bloody days off.” He sounded angry with himself and Q was just drowning in his smell and warmth. “I could have asked R for help or any of the teams of minions you had assigned me with and specifically told me to contact when you were away.”

 

“James, if you don’t move away, I’ll do something really stupid and—”

 

“I’ll do it for you and then you can slap me and kick me out of your lives forever or think about it on your way back to London and let me know,” James interrupted him and then kissed him, Q feeling like the air had been sucked out of his lungs.

 

James had surprisingly soft lips, the kiss somehow careful and demanding at the same time, their noses rubbing against each other as they rubbed their tongues together, the smell of the ocean completely wiping Q’s mind. All he could think about was how this was so much better than he had imagined and how James was made the world spin faster.

 

They were both breathless when they finally broke away and Q rested his head on James’ chest, the former agent softly rubbing his back, head on top of his. “I am a father, James. I have two kittens that will always come first to me and you are you.”

 

“Give me a chance?” James whispered, pleading, hugging him tighter. “I am not rushing head first into this like I usually do, I promise. I thought about it and I love the twins and they like me or they are evil masterminds that are plotting my death in their sleep.”

 

Q found himself chuckling, rubbing his face against James’ chest. “I think it is too early for a relationship in the true sense of the word. We should test the waters in a place that isn’t a paradise?” He tilted his head back to look at James, the man pushing his glasses back up his nose and pecking his lips.

 

 “There’s no better place than the cesspool that’s London seems like the best place for us to be sure of this,” James said hopefully and the sound of someone high-fiving behind the door making Q groan. “Kittens do have a very good hearing,” James offered in their defence and Q realized who was going to end up playing the strict parent role – which he was already failing, so his kittens were probably going to be the most spoiled children in the universe if the Major didn’t take up the ‘strict’ mantle.

 

“Is James staying longer with us?” Kirk asked through the door and Q swore that he would one day find it in himself to ground him.

 

“For as long as your father allows it.”

 

The twins high fived again and broke into a run when Q opened the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Technically, it should be POSSIBLE James Bond/Q. I might come back to it and add a chapter or two of them trying to actually have a relationship and with James realizing how hard it is to be the other dad that doesn't share DNA with the kids.
> 
> Comments and kudos are love <3


End file.
